PuRe pLeAsuReS!

Guess whose back.!!

2007-12-25T17:04:00.000-08:00

I know i have been away for a while and most of the time i had the writers block, had alot in my mind but didnt know how to express in words..
I was in a confusion state the past couple of months, and blogging is the only way i can release my emotions and seek therapy is come back here, where i feel safe and at ease..
I am still working for the same company that i have bitching and wining in the past entries. Never had the courage to quit, seems like they have wrapped me around their fingers but one day inshallah will have the courage to do that.
i guess am all talk, havent really worked on my goals like losing weight. Apparently feels like i have gained more since summer.Still starving myself to one meal a day plan, which is not working out at all for me. Infact am hungrier, and i get the temptations of eating more calories, then i realised the big mistake i made by consuming all those calories and then discovered bulging . Who was i kidding, i knew that wont last forever, i guess somalis cant tolerate bulimia.. that lasted a weak and quickly got bored with it,..

One goal that i accomplished is, i finally got to meet my cyber pal from ATL after chatting since May. He was everything that i ever imagine he would be. We had an awesome time, the only regret was time would not allow us and his stay was short and he had head back..
Well i hope it works, for i know not alot of long distance relationship work., I am just hoping for the best.

At the moment, its Christmas and am working, i dont care that much. Atleast i know the pay is good and anticipating for a phatter check.Although there is a bad snow storm that has been hitting the midwest for the whole weekend. My only worry is driving home with these severe conditions....Hoping for it to be better by the time ill be leaving..

So thats much of my recap, i know i left alot out... but hope ill get there in my next blog due to my work load am juggling between work and the blog. I have to get my Me time and just write whatever flows from my mind...

till next time.. adios!

OOH FATHER FORGIVE ME FOR I HAVE SINNED

2007-09-07T19:37:00.001-07:00

LONG WAY HOME.

2007-08-01T07:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,
It has been forever since i last blogged, I am very sorry for I have neglected you. I have not surrendered my thoughts and feelings to you like i used to.
This week has been hectic. Days go so fast and that definately means that you have to value time and use it wisely..It also means aging and getting closer to your death bed..

I received a call from my cousin Ayan in Nairobi on Sunday morning 07/29/07, that my father was very ill. He has alot going on, He is 63 yrs old with all the"somali" sickness. High Blood Pressure, Diabetes and has the worst chronic asthma that i have ever seen.He was hospitalised since Saturday night, i feel awfully bad that i didnt do any good that same night and i was out having fun with my cousin and her friends. That is so immature of me, i should know better that i passed the age of having fun. It was one of those Saturday afternoons that you dont have plans, and we have been crashing weddings about 7 weekends in a row( i think). I know, that is absurd and over the limit. That is what i call fun, They say all work and no play makes Jack a Dull boy and thats how i convinced my self..Its all about psychology its all in the head, what one considers a good time.
My cousin Hani's best friend named Abyan, we all like to call "Her BOYFREIND". She is a tom boy and thats why we call them a lesbian couple. One is so lady like and the other acts,talks, walks like a boy..
She came and saw us all trying to grasp for fresh air, lying and chilling near the air conditioning vent just to keep cool from the humid hot weather that we have been getting lately..
She told us that there is this cool place in Columbia heights, a suburb north east of Minneapolis where alot of arabs live. There is a joint that we can chill and try arabic delicasy.. I havent had gyros and shish kabobs for long..I thought that was a good idea, Mind you i am the same girl who has inferiority complex when it comes to my weight. I just wanted to put that aside for a day and let it be, for once i wanted to enjoy the food.

We drove all the way up north, She invited one of their friends and she also came with a couple of their buddies from Atlanta vacationing here in the twin cities. Are they out of their minds coming here to vacation. While they got the clubs, go sees and all in ATL.
Well, I understand where they are coming from and they dont have enough somali population compared to MN and so they are here hunting for MEN( SINGLE). I guess thats worth it when you are single.
Once we were there,it was small joint, nice interior. It was the place to be.. Somali guys and girls all cute and dressed up smoking shisha... I almost laughed my heart out seeing people twinging their eyes and making funny facial expressions smoking that SH*. They all looked like ameteurs, I didnt even know that such a place existed.We took up two booths for we were a group of 8 girls and may i say very loud girls.
So we had to do what romans do when you are in Rome. We ordered some gyros, chicken tikka,hummus,arabic coffee.
Then came for the time to smoke and get crunked.,.The waiters were really cute and they were even belly dancing you would say that is so disgusting to see a guy shaking his ass off and doing the snake.End of it all we were enjoying the humour and we were actually having fun to say the least. I would be so disgusted if someone told me a man was belly dancing but this was fun..
They started ordering flavours, can i have one lemon, apple and mint. We were sharing 2 people per 1 shisha. I trust my cousin so we shared one, that was apple flavoured.At first "we" my cousin and I became hesitant and shy, and they started criticizing us and giving us those looks of what are you scared of. We are all in this together. I was watching my cousin,all that i could think of was our reputation and what people would think of what we are doing..I rather smoke it in my house and privately and not in public.
Abyan tried to convince me that we were all sailing in the same boat, so i dont need to worry about anything. I took the first three puffs and it was all good until my head started to spin and i started getting dizzy and my body was so weak i couldnt even pick my hands up.While i was doing this my dad is in the hospital bed trying to gasp for air for his asthma attacks. If i knew i wouldnt be doing this.
We did this while conversing, chit chatting, laughing singing we had a good time..It was almost midnight and we getting ready to leave for we had been there since 8 pm and it was time to head home, before my grand ma gets suspicious.
Driving home was fun, we jammed to Old school and singing along, i guess we had the energy because of the tobacco we consumed.
We were home by 1-1.30am got ready to bed,I was unable to sleep. My head was still spinning when in bed same was occuring to my cousin. I could feel the floor was sinking down and the ceiling was crashing down on me. We both had turns jumping and getting up, tossing and turning. The fan sounded like a helicopter propeller placed near my ear drums, The room was loud. I was not sure thats how everyone feels once you have got too much nicotine in your body.
I felt sick, horrible and so terrible. I wish i could go back in time and changed everything. I did alot of harm than good.
I finally got to sleep around 4 am and by the time it was 7am. My maternal grand mother came with the phone, saying its my cousin Ayan. I love my cousin, so i decided to speak to her although i have a splitting headache that i was unable to get rid of that early.
She gave me the news ,even before greeting me. She was in calling booth and she was charged highly per min and so she needed to get to the message asp. It was like this, "HEY, YOUR DAD IS IN ER< SEND MONEY FOR BILLS"
I told her i will go to the nearest money wiring center and i will definately call back, make sure you have your cell phone. I want to know everything thats going on."next thing i heard was silence, she hang up.
I rushed in the bathroom, Called my sisters and told them of whats happening and they should get ready for some cash.
I had to drive all the way to home get the money and drive back to Mpls to send the cash.
I tried calling home while i was on the way, They told me he was fine, I wanted to speak to him immeadiately and all they could say he was resting after a long night at the hospital and he was finally at home. They managed to pay the bills and so i told them i sent the cash and advised them, make sure he takes his rest and doesnt go to work. I am sure the car garage where he always spends his time triggered this.

I went to my grand mas, everyone waiting with my news and told them he was fine and i sent the cash and i will try calling later tonight when it will be in the morning in Nairobi and talk to him.When i called , i was already teared up and when i heard his husky voice, i broke down. He sounded so weak and lonely for we were all here and he was there by himself. He refused to move here and we miss him. Inshallah am planning to visit him by next summer inshallah.I miss him so much...
He is doing good now, and hope that Allah (swt) will keep in good health and pray for him to prosper. Inshallah Amin.!

LADIES NIGHT??

2007-07-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night,,, should be ladies night,,right...NOPE!! ( doesnt feel like that at all.) Its just one of those nights, that you dont feel like doing anything.
The weather was scary today, with alot of hail stones,thunder and lightning. I hate thunder storms and any natural disasters, I could only imagine of the worse. My family and friends always tell me that am paranoid, i like imagining my own things and that i should be optimistic.

All i can think of was a tornado coming this way, My Allah (swt) save us from destruction.I was waiting for the sirens to start ringing and follow the evacuation procedures and hide somewhere in the parking ramp down in the office building basement.

My car broke down almost 2- 3 weeks ago, i actually have lost count of how many days i have been car less. Never the less, i dont mind being without a car in the summer. Everyday my my mum comes pick me up after work and all i could think of her driving on the crucial I494 which is proned to accidents.
As i was sitting in my cubicle,Unfortunately i sit next to the window and i could see the lightning flickering and am almost shitting in my pants, scared of it striking through the window. The sound of the thunder made the whole building shake, You would think there is an earthquake.
Speaking of earthquakes, i called my relatives in Nairobi and they were telling me about the series of earthquakes that rocked East Africa in the past 5 days. Lahaula! Where are we heading , these are the signs of doomsday that is near.May Allah(SWT) save us from the sins and shaitan and guide us to the right path. It is really scary.

I managed to get thru my mum, I called her on her cell phone told her not to come this way. I would rather take the light rail is much safer. I am sure everyone is rushing to their homes. Whenever drivers know that its about to rain or snow,We get to see the true crazy drivers driving like there is no tomorrow. I tried to convince her not to come, but it was too late she was on her way stuck in traffic.

I had no idea the weather will turn out to be like this.The day was perfect before. This actually taught me a lesson of checking the weather report because the last thing i ever do or think of doing is that, the weather was perfect this morning. It was in the 80's with humidity of almost 95% which is not bad for a day in July.Then the grey clouds started gathering around 4:45 pm and everyone was googling checking whats the sudden change with the weather. There was an alert of Thunderstorm and tornado watch up to 6:00 pm. All i could imagine was my mum with her light in weight red honda civic that could easily be taken and blown away by the strong winds.
I kept calling every min, cheking on her status. Alhamdulilah, she was fine and nothing happened to her and that am happy glad to be here right now typing this blog.
It took her almost an 2 hrs for a thirty min drive, from Minneapolis to Bloomington.We decided to use the back roads instead of taking the freeway home. Although it will take us forever,but being safe than sorry.

I was home by 7:30pm. My younger brother was at home waiting for me. I forgot all about the promise i made to him,I was supposed to take him for his driving test tomorrow. He wanted to do some touch ups with his parking coz he failed the first time.No time to relax or change. Since it stopped raining and the weather was back to normal. We decided to go to the back parking of the mall in our neighbourhood.We practiced for about an hour and half.I am so tired am typing this with one eye trying to stay awake.
Am i glad am off tomorrow. Still i got to wake up early and got to be in Plymouth by 8 for the test. Then after that, probably sleep and relax, take it easy rent a dvd or probably go to the movies and watch Harry Potter, my co workers are crazy over that flick. I just want to see what they are so excited about..

Very Important.,

2007-07-18T19:42:00.000-07:00

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته الطيبات وبعد
Brothers & Sisters,
Holy Prophet (Sala Allah Aleh Wasalam) said, stop doing everything during the Azan even reading the Quran, the person who talks during the Azaan will not be able to say the Kalma-e-shahadat on his/her death bed.

ABOUT ME!

2007-07-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

The X next to the sentence = i have done it

(x) Smoked a cigarette ~
( ) Drank so much you threw up ~
( ) Crashed a friend's car
(x) Stolen a car -My parent's car
( x ) Been in love
(x ) Been dumped
( ) Been laid off/fired ~
(x ) Been in a fist fight ~ 2
() Been shot at
() Been stabbed
(X) Snuck out of your parent's house ~ PARTY ERA
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school ~
(x) Seen someone die sadly
() Been to Canada ~
() Been to Mexico ~
(x) Been on a plane ~
(x)Been lost ~
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
(x) Swam in the ocean (my feet)~ yes
(x) Felt like dying ~ was dying
(x) Cried yourself to sleep ~ yep
( ) Played cops and robbers naked?
(x) Recently colored with crayons ~ With my baby cousins -7 yrs, 5yrs and 18 months
() Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins ~ who doesn't
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't*-*smoked
(x) Made prank phone calls ~ EVERYDAY
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose ~
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue ~
(x) Danced in the rain ~
() Written a letter to Santa Claus ~ WHO?
() Been kissed under the mistletoe
() Watched the sun rise with someone you care about or love ~ (
(x) Blown bubbles ~
() Made a bonfire on the beach ~
(x) Crashed a party ~
(x) Gone roller-skating ~ years ago
(x) Ice-skating ~ frozen water...hell no
1. Do you have any nicknames? PLEASURE HALIMO...
2. What is your favorite drink? H2O
3. Tattoos? No
4. Any piercing? yes, ears
5. How much do you love your job? Funking HATE IT!
6. Favorite vacation spot? home with my family
7. Ever been to Africa ? Yes, KENYA
8. Ever steal any traffic signs? YES
9. Ever been in a car accident? NOPE
10. How many doors does your car have? 4
11. Salad dressing? vinegar and Oil
12 Favorite number? 1
13. Favorite holiday? any day that I do not have to cook!
14. Favorite food? PILAU with guacamole
15. Favorite Day of the week? The day before my day off)
16. Favorite brand of body soap? handmade (oatmeal, milk and honey) lady in Bloomington,carols daughter
17. Favorite Tooth Paste? Toms sensitive
18. Favorite smell! Lavendar
19. What do you do to relax? Talk to a Sheikh.. He knows who he is, wherever he is
20. Message to friends/family reading this? all I can be is me like it our not!!
21. How do you see yourself in 10 years? balanced and peace of mind
22. What do you do when you are bored? not allow myself to be bored

This is my life....-- I don't mind when people talk about me. It lets me know that I'm on your mind and I'm your #1 priority in life.

JUST FOR LAUGHS,.

2007-07-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

TECHNOLOGY
After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 meters and headlines in the US papers read: " US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

One week later, the Kenyan newspapers proudly reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500 meters, Kenyan scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology.

Na ndio maana najivunia kuwa Mkenya!!!

Office Space

2007-07-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

As I am sitting in my cubicle,thinking away. I cant help to notice that the next person sitting next to my desk is actually staring at my work space.I am just sick of him eaves dropping and listening to my conversation with my patients.

The next thing you know he will be running up to the supervisors to report. For being a good sport.I know every work place has some politics going on.There is always someone gosipping in the break room about something especially one someone gets fired.When they see someone being escorted with a carton box full of personal belongings, they start murmuring and whispers start.News travel first, and so even before they go out the whole depratment already knows that he/she is fired.One thing with the Company I work for, no body knows why one has been laid off.Its like the mystery, everyone starting creating their own conclusions.

I just cant stand **Paul**, He is an environmental guy, nothing wrong with that. The fact is he has a big plant in between our desks and am just to allergic to the fertilizers he uses.You cant believe the bugs and insects coming out from the plant.Sometimes you could find them crawling around your desk and your clothes. I have placed a formal complaint about it , and i guess the management favours him since he is a veteran and has been working for more than 20 yrs.
I look at him, thinking will my life be the same as his? Same office, same routine for the next twenty something years to come.No wife, no children.
He has pictures of his dogs plastered all over his desk, he calls them his children. Sometimes i feel sorry for him, for he doesnt have anyone to go home to. I can understand why he makes his job his number 1 priority.

He doesnt like the fact why i wear Hijab at work and the reason why I wear one. I always explain the reason, He just loves to disagree with me. I was wearing a black hijab with Calvin Klein logo and he mocked me infront of the whole group "" DO YOU HAVE *CK* IN THE MUSLIM WORLD?""?. What does that suppose to mean.?Everyone started to crack up with laughter. I kept my head up and high and didnt want to show my sadness.I didnt even want to talk to him,there was no point to answer him. They say if you argue with a fool or just the same.

Why do these conservative folks think that all Africans come from a zoo.Go educate yourself and find out that we as much developed as the 1st world.Questions like did you use to walk in the jungle to search for food and hunt animals.Do you think i live in Bedrock( flinstones era)?I just cant to be judged as stereotype.

I work for one of the HMO's in the twin cities, and since that movie *SICKO* by Micheal Moore was realeased. My work has been hectic,I cant stand the phone calls, and people cursing.Expalining that we are better that what the movie potrays.
Its not my fault that the American health care system sucks. Minding in Iraq and forgetting that their own people have the worst health care in the world.All the funding goes to the military.Majority of tax payers cant afford it and yet large amount of state and federal taxes are deducted from every pay check, with the high deductibles in the health benefits(dental and medical) and poor hopsital and clinic services. You defiantely know there is something wrong somewhere.
I actually like what Micheal Moore did.,. He has actually raised awareness. I believe this should be one of the Major issues in the presidential debate for 2008.
So this week has been really crazy and so tiring.

I'll keep you posted about my office, alot of hostility and competition going in here..

FATE

2007-07-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

The defination of fate is ... Destiny..
Everyone is searching for one, or working hard to be successful be it now or heareafter.Everyday is a learning experience,You get to meet new people, learn new things and so on and so forth.

For a while, My day to day living has been a routine i.e.
1. Get up in the morning, say your morning prayers.
2.Get ready for work, Drive to work
3.Back home, Cleaning, dinner with family(Siblings and mum),prayers,
4. Sleep and back again the next day. to step 1.

Alhamdulilah, Its not that am complaining I actually appreciate it.
To say the least, its been boring and i wanted to have an adventure.So I ventured to the internet and online( MATCH MAKING SITES) Hi5 and the likes.

One day i came across one of my friends profile and his list of friends included my best friends brother's photo. So i decided to drop a line to his message center and say hi, to check if he could recognise me.
So my routine was normal, once a while check out my page to see who viewed and whos on there.
A couple months later, he replied back. Unfortunately, he wasnt my friends brother but hes the actual cousin.He told me alot of people tend to confuse them alot, because of their resemblance.He was actually living in the same city with the guy i thought he was.
I decided to reply back and apologise for the mistake i made, and that he should disregard everything i said. So every email i write he responds and vise versa, We actually started to bond as email buddies. we exchanged emails every day maybe even 3 times a day.

That was weird considering he is a stranger. I could say a perfect stranger. We seem to have the same interests; and then came the phone numbers request since we got tired of emailing and we seem to have a lot to discuss.
So he called me, we talked. Per his conversation he sound very nice,his views in politics, religion,hobbies.Wehave the same likes and dislikes. He is such a perfect stranger..
I havent met him, just saw his pictures online and we have chatted several times via webcam.I am telling you this guy is the whole package..

I just dont want to rush things to pursue this relationship to another level.My heart wants to do that, but my mind tells me you have been broken hearted so many times before so watch your step. I just like him alot. He is even the one who introduced me to blogging and I thank him for that.There is no day that passes by that we dont either talk by phone, or send text message. We talk for hours and feels like we have been only talking for less than 5 minutes. We never get tired of each other or even bored per me, dont know about him. I could say he is my best friend right now.

The only problem we are currently facing is that fact that we live in two different cities.I live in Minneapolis and he lives in Atlanta.
He wants me to come visit him, He is even willing to pay my plane ticket back and forth.
I live with a strict family and travelling is really hard for me. He could come to see me, but i would have to be a good host and roll the red carpet for him, for her will be my VIP guest.With the curfews am currently having, I dont think that would be a good idea.

I am also scared of what if i make the wrong choice, what if he is not what am looking for...?
What if i want more and he doesnt want to go all the way.? Is he my fate,?
Am I just overdoing this?
How i can trust my self, with a stranger in a strange city...?
When i go to this city, I have to lie to my family. If I told the truth they will expect me to marry him,That will be unfair for him, i dont want to put him or I in such situations. I just want to know nd kill the curiosity, who is the man in the iron mask and the voice behind the line.
Is he my destiny?
All this is just a big puzzle, that i need to uncode..

I pray to Allah, and ask him to make it simple and easy to make the best decision.May be he is the one, may be he is not.I will just let nature take its course.
Allah(SWT) knows best, and i live it up to Thee.
I just hope for the best...Inshallah.

A friend in need, is a friend indeed.

2007-06-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

When you think the word "friend", The first thing that pops to your mind is someone who will always be there for you through thick and thin and in good times and bad.
So who is a friend?
In my opinion, i don't believe if there is a such a person who exists. A friend is actually your parents,siblings.A friend should be your guardian angel. Everyone wants to take an advantage of one another. When you actually see someone getting close to you, hanging out with you just know something is up.
I can actually say a good friend, is the one who you grew up with since kindergarten or your early child hood and has been in your life till now. They have stuck by you through sunshine and rain.
Life is all about ups and downs and risks. Without them, it will be as boring as you can imagine.
You have to really choose your friends carefully and wisely.

I can say this with experience, I have trusted allot of people in my life to the point that i can never trust again. They have let me down and I lost hope. This wasn't a one time experience. I should have learnt through my mistakes, but i was so naive and i got bitten. My excuse is since i dont have an older sister i could talk to, advise me and warn me;thats the reason of my fall. I had to learn the hard way, I kept repeating the same mistakes over and over. Well, Once bitten, twice shy...third time Shame on you. I am taking the initiative and advising all the girls out there. Keep all the secrets to yourself and never share with anyone. Once you tell someone its no longer a secret. Keep in mind there are consequences with everything in life. Play smart and keep Allah in everything you do, and Inshallah you will succeed in life. For he will guide you to the right path.

My father is one of the greatest guy i know, actually he is the greatest guy i will ever know.
He used to see me bustling with girl friends, alot of girls in my room chit chatting, giggling and ofcourse this was all about boys. He was really worried of what i will turn up to be, for he was a single father taking care of three daughters and one niece so a total of four girls ranging 17-22. He had the hardest job and task one could ever have.
He had to juggle between his work and being a home maker since my mom had to move to another country.There is no way anyone could trust girls in a house together for a long period of time without supervision. Alot of somali elders, be parents, guardians dont believe in freedom for young girls they believe they should be protected from the hungry wolves.

Being in a Muslim all girl school, definately you will make friends and every one in school had different personalities.There were the smart ones (they know the purpose of going to school) and there were the other ones(hippies). Majority of them, were only thinking of marriage and were readily engaged just waiting to get done with their exams and planning their weddings. Suprisingly i couldnt understand why should one go to school at all, If all this is implanted in their heads.
My school was popular for it had all the fly and hot girls and so every boy in town wanted to get a piece of us. Then, School was all about boys.. and believe me that was trouble. Wherever there is a lot of girls just run for your life.

One of my dearest friend got engaged. Her fiance was what everyone could dream of.He was Ok looking, i wont say fly but just average. He's successful and single. This *jama* guy was actually abroad finishing his studies. As soon as they were both done, their union will commence.
One day my so called best friend called me and asked me to play a prank on her boy. Since she didnt know him that well due to the fact that their union was all planned out by their parents. She was not feeling him at all and it was all about getting blessings from her parents.
She asked me to call her *MAN* and pretend that Iam into him and the fact that i like him alot and want to date him. For being a good friend that I am, I agreed to this plan. She needed a push to make her feel and realise that she wasnt making the biggest mistake in her life once he co-operates and acknowledges that he is unavailable. That was what we were hoping for,.right??
Little did i know that this plan was actually wrong and wasnt a good idea.I called * jama* up and really talked to him, he was nice and may i say very inviting. which was a bad sign for starters. I told him all that crap that you can imagine; i saw him on the mall, and i couldnt help but to notice him, he was on my mind and ofcourse that i want to meet him and get to know him better.
The big question popped up, " Hey Babes, Are you single??" I was expecting the big N to the O. and he told me straight up and frankly that he is very single and ready to mingle,available, no strings attached bla bla. I almost chocked, speechless and in total shock. I couldnt believe my ears.I had to make him repeat his sentence all the time just to be very clear. He had no idea, that we were setting him up.
I didnt know what to do, i was confused so i decided to talk to my cousin about it. She was not supportive and very stark raving mad of what i have done. Not to forget my freind was waiting for my response regarding this matter. Should i tell her, should i not.??i couldnt sleep that night..
The next morning i called her up, she couldnt wait to talk to me. I could tell in her voice.I didnt want to disappoint her and tell her that this guy is a DAWG and so i told her what her ears wanted to hear. (your man is very faithfull)At that time, I knew i put myself into a double jeopardy.

This guy was on top of the world,cloud nine. He was so into himself and he couldnt stop calling me.i ignored his calls alot of times and then one day i was with his *fiance* my friend at a wedding reception and he called her, they talked it was so so lovey dovey.A few min later, my cell rings. Caller ID is private. So i decide to pick up not to realise that the end of the line would be *him*. The line was not clear and ofcourse at any party they would be noises, music. This guy was really smart, so he immeadiatley knew that i was at the same wedding with his future wife and so he called her up and told her that he would come pick her up when she is ready to go.
Hours later he called her up, let her know that he was outside the parking lot waiting for her. The prank happened about two months before the party. So this incident was long gone and forgotten.
My friend asked me to follow her outside. I didnt know that her potential husband was outside, so i see an average guy in a blue truck, so she intoduces us and we shake hands. i stepped back and i was so uncomfortable. Not so long ago, i was talking to this guy i just didnt like his presence there.
Seconds later, My hand bag starts making some sounds,yeh my phone was ringing. So he immeadiately knew i was the one who pranked him. I couldnt tell who was calling me, because of the caller id was private.On their way home, he started to say all the things he could possibly say about me. He told her that we went out for a date,clubbing with me and i asked him out and i insisted to dump his fiance and he should marry me instead.
They say a coin has two sides and so she didnt know who to believe and she opted to pick and choose her partner and not me.I dont blame her for that,I know i would have done the same thing if i was in her position.She was blinded by love and the fact that i wasnt honest to her on the get go. All these things wouldnt have happened only if i was a true friend. I have learnt a big lesson, that honesty is always the best policy.Although we havent been tight like we used to and of course she wont trust me like she used to. She will be always in my heart.
The last thing i wanted was to be branded the title " MAN SNATCHER". I have alot of respect for her. I did this for her, to be a friend when shes in need and that was what i was trying to accomplish.According to my bad judgement i was not what i was supposed to be,

"A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FREIND IN DEED"!

Summer Busters

2007-06-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

When i grow up, i want to be? Hmmm! Let me think,, Movie Critic..
The reason behind this is generally because of getting paid ofcourse ,There is always cash $$ behind everything in life nowadays.
Secondly, The film insdustry is one of the industries that do well and generate alot of turnovers.Being a studio exec is just plain the same as being an oil tycoon somewhere in the Middle East or like the southerners down in Texas.
I want to move to Hollywood and get paid for just watching movies and give criticsm... be bad or good..

This summer is all about trilogy and am not all for that.. Spiderman 3, shrek3,oceans 13,pirates of the carribean, fantastic 4, Live free or die hard,just to name a few. What is going on? Are we going to get the same sh** ( excuse my french ) next summer.? We are paying $8-10 per movie pass and not to foreget the treats e.g pop corns.
If I was the critic now i wouldnt be given the studios the thumbs up to release these trilogies for the movie fans to watch. They should get fresh writers, new ideas and not the same old bum.

I always like Martin Scorcese and I am happy that he finally got the oscars he deserves for the job well done in the Departed.He got nods many times before, but always Spielberg, Lucas and even Eastwood beat him. This is his year!!.. Patience is really a virtue.
I am also happy Forrest Whitaker scooped the best actor award, he really killed the role as Idi Amin on the Last King of Scotland. The accent, Oooh La la! he just sounded like a Ugandan especially a nubian. Leonardo DiCaprio is hot as fire and cool as cucumber and i may say he is really talented. For those who havent watched Blood diamond, i recommend that movie. This year is all about accents to me. If you try to immitate an african you are just the bomb diggity. This is why am mad at the movie Studios for not making and releasing good flicks anymore, There are no flicks that you are eager to watch except for Transformers that is set for July4th. This is because of the hot cast Josh Duhale,Shia Lebaouf,Tyrese Gibson and not to forget the awesome special effects that it has.
Well, we'll see how it turns out to be,So Im opting for the best. We just need something different and unique.
By the way, Bruce Willis just needs to retire or follow his fellow actors like the likes of Arnold Schwazzeneger and Mel Gibson. They have retired with style and not redoing the movies that have established their hollywood status like Terminator or Mad max respectively.
With all that said, am not feeling this summer busters...

Summer Loving**

2007-06-24T08:16:00.001-07:00

It Sunday 06/24/07, The third official day of summer.
The days are longer and the nights are shorter. People can actually do something after work, go to the park, boat riding and definately do the summer favourite "cook out". Well i cant help but to wonder what my family members are upto, while i ponder my thoughts in my work cubicle being the only member who works odd days of the week. The sky is clear and blue with temperature of 85 degrees F.As i am looking outside the window, I can see couples walking their dogs, family sitting down for a picnic in the park thats across my work building. They must be having a good time,How i wish i could be there..:(

Then i realised, is this what every 25 yr old does. My life revolves around my work and my home. I neither have female friends nor boy friends. Not that am complaining, I have already had experiences with female buddies and am not looking forward to go back in my college days. Right now, I have no strings attached. I have no reason to lie to my parents that I am hanging out with my buddies at a wedding and yet i was getting my groove on in the clubs.There were times that i ran out of excuses and i had to wait for everyone to sleep so i could jump off the balcony to go party. Believe me this is just peaceful, but sometimes you get tired of peaceful and the multiple personality freak who i like to call "HALIMO" wants to come out. what do you do in such cases?

My mother is actually my best friend, Isn that weird?HAHA!
Thats why i have decided to write my inner feelings, thoughts to the blog so that i can release an escape "halimo" in me that i cant share with my HOYO.
I tend to give "Halimo" some loving and attend some of the family weddings. Although i am not a big fan of one. All somali weddings seem to have the same theme. Let me break it down for you.

1. The MAMA's get to get their groove on with BURAMABUR and HEELO dances ( hope thats the spellin, forgive my somali). chanting and praising the couple, family and last but not least the CLIMAX( tribes). Women get to dance and shake their tail feather just to show off their jewelry and what they have on.Mind you this starts around 10 pm.

2. Then comes the dinner, that is served around midnight when the couple have already arrived.
Alot of the younger generation prefer coming to the weddings at this time so that they can pass the noise of the traditional dances.Dinner consists of samosa, chicken legs, Anjera Habashi, alot of spices, curry which means heartburn at 1.am.I always pass that, dont want to spend the rest of the night living in the bathroom

3. After everyone is full , Then the somali band( FANANIIN**, hope that is the spelling) find their way through the stage to entertain us with old somali songs that have been remixed to fit the current beatz. Although i can say that is the best part of the night. T his will go on till the wee hours of the night, maybe even till morning prayers. Never the least 90% of the attendees have to work the next day. For what price do we have to torture ourself for the name of GOOD TIME.

In my opinion, gossiping is one of the reasons people come to the weddings.They want to know what the bride wore,how she looked.? Is the groom worth her or vise versa.? How much did it cost to make the wedding?. Last but not least, Just a recap on everybody' life e.g "You know who got divorced, and somebody's husband married a 2nd wife etc". That is all BS to me.
As they say if you are in Rome you got to do what the romans do".

Every weekend in Summer, there must be two weddings or more here in Minesotta. Its known to be the **STATE OF UNION**. If you want to get hitched you better start packing, and visit. One piece of advice there are alot of wolves here, Make right choices and you will do good.

I love SUMMER, its just full of drama,,,

~Long Distance,

Phatabulous

2007-06-23T08:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,
I am back, I was just hear with you yesterday and I cant get enough of you,miss you too death already. As you know i got alot going on mentally, emotionally and physically. Alot of you know my emotions by now.

What I mean with physically is i have gained alot of weight lately and there is nothing I can do about it. I have tried everything I could possibly imagine of,be slim shakes,pills, exercise, starving my self to death and it all seem to boost up my metabolism and instead gain more weight. BUMMER!
With the media, tabloids going on with celebrity stars weighing size 2-0 this really promotes young girls to think they are not beautiful when they are curvy, It is really absurd of where we heading now.
Lately, The Somali Community( the younger generation) is adopting this western culture, Beauty now lies with how Pin stick pencil you can be. The curvier(fatter), the uglier you are. We shouldnt be using this principle, and judge people by the way the appear. They say ** DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER**. Beauty lies inside,its what lies beneath your soul. There is no one who can take it away from you. I like what Jen Hudson, America Fererra, Mo'nique and Tyra Banks have done lately.They have given hopes and inspired alot of lost girls out there and motivated them to believe that they can do it too.
I still cant help it and i have this addiction of losing weight so bad...due to my "medical conditions".

I have been having some health issues lately. My bowel movement is a little off( sorry for being to open). My Dr's ruled and diagnosed me to be pre diabetic if I am not careful of what i chose to eat or rather not eat.They also ruled that I have hyper Thyroid, My God! I have never felt healthy like this before i feel like every body part is functioning and yet they say all this. What are they trying to do to me, Kill me without having my own *duplicate* at this fragile age of 25.

Dear Blog, Weight is the biggest challenge am facing right now. If i had lost a few pounds, i will be so confident to do whatever and I know that is one of the major reason why my love life is down and awful...Anyway with enough said, Am going to sign out thinking am I feeling better?Do i inspire? Is there anyone, someone who feels the same.?
Yours truly...
Long Distance..

Where there is a will,there is a way

2007-06-22T14:19:00.001-07:00

Dear Blog,
The last time I was confiding in you i lost all hopes in life. I have been so cruel and depressed being 25 female, somali girl and still single. This fact is tormenting and killing me slowly day by day.Its a big blow below my belt. Most of my peers are either married with kids ranging from 5 yrs to 2 yrs or going to school about to graduate or even have graduated.
Let me go and refresh you and take you way back of when my life so innocent and sweet. I just migrated to USA from Kenya roughly 3 yrs ago. I moved at the age of 22 yrs and by that age, I could say i have lived my life to the fullest, felt like i have lived 200 yrs. I have dated every guy i can possible think of, rich poor , young, married and single. You name it I have done it. I know i havent made the best decisions in my life, i regret most of the stuff i did. They say in order to enjoy life, you got to take the risk. Life is all about risks. Through this experience it has really made me grow to a wiser and stronger woman(LADY) I am and have become now.

The only way to get by and be happy was to move away from anything that was clinging to my past. In short, get out of Eastleigh Nairobi. Turn a new leaf in a new country, new people and new environment. Well, Guess what? I was so wrong. In fact i have never been so dismantled in my life, so bored ,so depressed. I was lonely, cold in a foreign Country nothing to do. The worst thing is i came when it was winter. 1st time from a tropical country where seasons are either from Long rains and short rains or sunny with temperatures ranging 70- 80 degrees F 10 months in a year.That was a big change in my life.
I moved to Minneapolis, MN one of the coldest cities in USA. The biggest attraction is the Mall of America. It is the biggest mall in the whole United States but it hasnt moved me at all. It reminds me of the bustling flee market back in Nairobi called GIKOMBA known for its second hand goods.It was one of the busiest open markets i could think of. I just hate places with a crowd, noise makes me spin and go crazy. I just didnt feel the mall at all to me they just over did it.
Mn is known to be the state for laid back people not alot of things happen here. It is well known for Agriculture, and The 10,000 lakes. You cant compare Minneapolis to LA,NY , Las Vegas and Miami its completly the opposite. You wouldnt even think that these cities are even goverened with the same President George W Bush.
Minesottans have no idea what goes on this world, The highlight of the news is WEATHER.What will be the weather be tomorrow so that they can wear either flip flops or boots?. They have no idea what goes on beyond the State border leave alone the world. This is the most pathetic situation i have ever seen. They would think only whats in style, and pure celebrity gossip. who is Paris Hilton dating and how Angelina Jolie took Brad Pitt away from Jen Aniston?.what happened at TOMKAT's wedding.

I dont know where am going with this. It just leads me from one topic to the other. Thats how my mind is.,Its just big puzzle that needs some one to help and guide me.

Dear Blog, I know i have to get mylife straight and on track. Only Allah Knows best and with prayers. I know i will pass, survive with flying colours.
Thanks for being the shoulder i can lean on. Promise to come back.

Perfect Stranger,

2007-06-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,
They say there is always first time for everything. I hear you are pretty good shrink and I hear you listen to alot of bloggers out there who need some release therapy that we all are looking to get.
I am 25 yo F living somewhere in the Land of freedom and Opportunity. I still havent gotten that opportunity that everyone is searching for. Maybe i missed it,It passed while I was unaware.As they say Opportunity knocks once at a mans doorstep.Question is Did it knock? and if it did, when was it? Was I too blinded to realise that I missed the Man of dreams unknowingly?

My mom always say you will always know the right man when he comes by. I always wish that every guy i meet is the one that i would end up with, But No. They always turn out to be something else just after a few days of getting to know them e.g Stalkers,liers,cheaters and just too filthy to even think of dating. Why am i guilty everytime someone approaches me and i dont feel anything towards him.Why do i always fall for the wrong guys,be either married or single.With that history of my life, I tend to have a phobia. I can never trust anyone anymore.I feel like everyone is the same they all want one thing and one thing only.
Dear Blog, I need helP!!
Should i start Online dating,with the hi technlogy now and Hi speed internet in every 8-10 household. Should this be the resolution to my ongoing loneliness.My friends are all married and seem to be leading a very healthy lifestyle and seem to be happy... What is wrong with me.?I have been a people pleaser all the time and no one has given me anything in return. What happened to the saying ** The more you give, The more you get**. Why are all the good guys taken? Do you know the ratio of woman to man is 6:1. Do the maths?For all the single females out there can relate to my story....